Halu-Halo

Indoors

As much as I love the sun, and being outdoors, I am equally a recluse.  I don't mind wearing my yoga pants all day, my torso bundled up in a sweater.  I find comfort in the confines of my home, even under my favorite blanket. And I love having the predictability of what's to happen next, the control of what task needs to be completed.

When the weather is warm, the pressure is greater  to be productive outside of the home.  I usually never mind rising to it, the sun is pure temptation, and my energy easily flows outwards.  But because of this, I am antsy inside my home, especially when the kids are over-loud, when its walls cannot keep me from my stretch.    

I find that when I am outside these walls, I miss a few things.  I pass on some of the small mundanes, like rearranging our pantry or deleting the spam emails I receive.  I write a little less, I don't craft as much, and I butterfly my way through the day.  It is all great fun, but admittedly, tiring.

So, on days like this, when it is cold and icy, I receive it with open arms.

On days like this, I can allow myself to look inwardly, without the outside to distract me.  The ice is a reason to halt the normal, and encourage creativity from more limited resources. On days like this, it is alright to move slowly, to be careful.

It is even easier to to be caring, in my opinion, to take stock of everything one has ignored on those sunny days.  Like dusting the tops of doorways and rearranging the papers on my desk.  Or folding fabric.  

 And somewhere in between baking and finding a chore or craft for the children to do, the creative mojo finds its way to surface.  

On days like this, I can hear myself.

Have a safe and wonderful weekend everyone.

 

 

 

I love having creative friends...

And I love it even better when they live nearby..

I had breakfast with KimberlyR this morning.  We snacked, had hot beverages, gossiped and laughed and talked business.  I took a lot of silly pictures, and she didn't mind, because she knew me well enough to know that by entering into my home,she inherently agreed that she would be a part of a future blog post or a tagged Facebook picture. (*)  

Sorry, Kim :)

But seriously folks, she came bearing yarn...how could I not talk about it.  In fact, I think I even squealed when she handed it to me.  Such is my love for hand-dyed yarn - I freak out even in small quantities.

I was giddy for hours after our morning together, as if a part of me was topped off and fulfilled.  I usually feel the same way after coming from a Quilt Guild meeting, or after checking into a craft blog or forum.  It's as if the sharp parts of my environment smudge just a tad, making *all of this* - the constant and busy of now - seem that much prettier.

With Creative Friends, most everything is possible.  They dream for it to come true.  Their imagination translates into something tangible, substantial and present.  And their encouragement - it's undending, no matter how small the project is, or whether it's been completed.  After all, it's as much about process and progress as it is about product.

With Creative Friends, I feel completely inspired!  I remember the projects I would like to do, I rifle through the patterns I hope to start, and I revel knowing that these things really, really make me happy, in what could be considered as rudimentary or domestic.  These organized set of stitches, these combinations of fabrics, they are all little outbursts of excitement onto fabric.  

These days, I don't accomplish nearly as much as I want to, but my Creative Friends help me remember through their own projects that life goes on, one stitch at a time.  That the fabric that is our environment is stitched together by people from all walks of life.  And that, really, nothing is wasted from whatever we do, as little or as much as we finally get to show.

I bet that Kim didn't think that her visit would do me that much good, but it did.  And if you're not a crafter, I bet you didn't think that all that could be felt doing a little bitty quilt or knitting a hat, but trust me, it can.  

Have a good night everyone!

 

(*) Note that I respect all friends wishes. If they are photo or blog shy, I promise that I don't expose them to my tomfoolery.   

Radical in 2012

Hi Friends,

I wasn't sure how I was going to begin this post...it's been churning in my head for days.  I think I'm the last blogger to wish the world a Happy 2012, but the pressure of the first post weighed on my shoulders.  Would I give a recap of my year, the projects I was able to accomplish, the works in progress yet to be completed?  Or would I list my resolutions for the year, with a heartfelt hope that I would be sucessful?  Or maybe post a series of pictures of the highlights of 2011?  

It all didn't seem right for me, for this post to look back.  Well before the year ended, I actually felt that I was coming over a crest, feeling the freedom of seeing what's on the other side.  It was like what I rememebered about running up Stanyan - it was almost better just to keep going until I reached the plateau of an intersection, rather than stop in the middle of the climb to see how far I had gone.

You're probably wondering what in the heck I have accomplished in the last year, with all of this talk about running up an insanely steep hill in San Francisco. Alas, my resume won't show much more than it did from January of last year, except for an extra few miles I logged in, and a few more words I was finally able to get on paper.  But my insides, the real stuff that makes "me", has come through what I call the Fog of 2011.

It has much to do with getting adjusted and readjusted.  The rearranging of the physical priorities within what the family needs, the tweaking of personal priorities in the categories of 'dream' and 'reality', and finally finding that there is a bridge that connects these two things.  It was toting the line in between expectation and radical and then deciding to throw that one foot on the other side and opening my eyes and saying, Wow, why didn't I do that earlier?  

I know!  There she goes with her mumbo jumbo again.  This is why I held back a couple of days to post.  The words are all here, on the tips of my fingers, I am typing as fast as I can so that I don't filter so much of what I mean.

What is all this about?

It's about everything.  Perspective. Baby steps leading to gazelle-like movements. Process. Faith. Rolled up in one and then twisted and turned.  It's knowing myself.  And it's being more brave.  Not just chug-a-chuging up that hill, but really using those legs and my (well-fed) ass to haul myself over, knowing I will be fully out of breath up there.  

No, you won't be seeing me running 8 minute miles, I'm perfectly happy at my 11:30's.  I won't be knocking out a quilt a month, though I'll still be making some very loved items.  And I guarantee that the crazy moments will come, and sometimes I will cry and complain, this is life after all.   This is not about stats, or counting those notches above my bed (which I don't have, lest you think...).  

It's about finding my groove, and 2012 is going to witness it.

I hope the first 4 days of your year has been eventful in some way, even in your quietest moments.  Celebrate it with me.  

 

Peeking out from behind this computer screen

My habit is to hide out a bit right after Christmas: To rest my body, to reflect on the past year, and to recapture what brings me joy.  I revisit my 3 R's before the New Year so that when the clock strikes 00:00:01, I am ready for it. For despite the fact that our lives can change at any second, 1 January brings about so much potential, doesn't it?  So why not take it and go with the momentum?

I have to admit though, that of the 3 R's, I'm still working on the first.  This Christmas was both our quietest and busiest.  We purposely kept it intimate and just us for the entire weekend, but it still was as messy and as loud and as chaotic as it would have been had we done our usual hosting.  I still cooked heaping amounts of food, our dishwasher still ran at least twice a day, and Hubby and I still went to bed those nights happy but undeniably exhausted.  

We both keep learning that our Big family is self-sustaining, and that there will never be a lack of company.  And while we laughed at how our days were filled without, really, much planned, we both grew that much more appreciative of the enormity of the space these children filled.  It's astounding, and humbling, really, how they are in all parts of this home.  And how, despite all of our antics and quirks as parents, they still come to us, in their happiness, frustration and sadness.  

And so, I am still tired, still barely getting out of house clothes, not flat-ironing my hair, but spending these quiet hours with each of my four.  All without thinking of when the next extra-curric activity will be, or when the next project is due.  The pace - it's good right now; my body needed it, my mind sought it, and thank goodness the kids are going with it.

I hope that you had a wonderful holiday, and that somehow in your plans you are recovering in your own way.  After all, the New Year is around the corner, and it will be time to party when it comes around to it!

Have a great night!

This elf has been busy

(and I'm not talking about the one on the shelf - I'm talking about the bonafide creator of the Christmas spirit here in our house - ahem...)

There are only 3 days till Christmas, after all.  In three days, my Bigs and Littles will be up at 5 in the morning, tearing open whatever Hubby and I had haphazardly lovingly wrapped the night before, and we get to celebrate another year of blessings.

I This elf has been good this year.  If you remember, I sent out my last 2010 Christmas gift *in* February of 2011. The year before, even much later, in March.  This year, I'm proud to report that the last package will be mailed in the next few days - a record.

(See me bow)

Yes, commence the applause.  Enjoy the  moment.  It may not happen again.  

I would like to thank the Academy, and Groupon and Living Social for providing great gift-giving options this year.  

Also, the last of the handmade has been completed today.  Impressed?

 (I'll imagine you squealing in delight.)  

Pattern: Shilling, knit on sz 4 16-inch circs, sz 7 16-inch circs and dpns

Yarn: Cascade 220

It was so much a perfect fit for me, that I seriously contemplated not wrapping it up, and instead just stashing it in my own dresser drawer.  But I didn't, and it's now hidden with the rest of the kids' gifts; it's going to my Biggest, who lost his knit hat earlier this year.  

G used his sweet beanie, which I knit for him when he was 5 (the blue and brown), every winter for almost 5 years.  While I'm grateful that he was able to hang on to it for so long, I finally had to accept that it had disappeared, and decided he needed another one, a completely different one.

Shilling is a very handsome pattern! It's hard to see the texture and cables in my pictures, but it's definitely fitting for an older boy.  I think he's going to love it.  

And the final handmade completed is for my sweet R, for her special American Girl Doll, whom she lovingly named Claire...

A ticker tape quilt!

I decided to do larger scraps, even on this tiny quilt.  R is quite my helper and right hand woman when I sew, and I knew she loved these fabrics.  In fact, she had separated many of these scraps as her favorites.

I did a second round of quilting, adding flowers to it.  I can't tell you how excited I am to give this to her.  I am expecting a doll bed in the mail at any moment, and this quilt will be gracing it.  She is going to jump and giggle absolutely.freak.out when she sees the entire ensemble on Christmas morning.  

The back - pieced fabrics shared by Natalie (thanks, woman!) the last time we were at her place for our Nova Modern Quilt Guild meeting.  R tagged along to the last couple of meetings, and on that day, she actually picked these out the stash.  

This elf will now celebrate with a little bit of chocolate, and maybe even a glass of wine.   While she won't be hanging on the chandeliers or  doing such shenanigans (she is 36 after all), tonight, she will be watching this movie and eating kettle corn like it's going out of style.

Have a great night, everyone!

Fear not the post office

By the time I got to the post office this morning, just a few minutes before 9 am, there were 15 people in front of me.  

I almost turned around and got back into my car.  Not only did I have to be somewhere at 9:30, but I also had Baby J with me.  Did I really want to face a potential meltdown that my toddler is so good at these days?  Was I prepared for the her inevitable no-i-will-not-move-unless-you-drag-me-out-kicking-and-screaming shenanigan?  I put my coat back on, and fiddled with my key ring.

And then, I remembered the date, so I stayed.  

I'm glad I did, because I had quite a few packages go out the door.

One was a quilt block for a charity quilt being put together by Natalie as part of our work with the Northern Virginia Modern Quilt Guild.

This block was put together with directions provided by Camille, from her quilt pattern "Swoon".  Thank you Camille, for sharing these directions with us!  Each contributor provided a block, and the combination thereof with be quilted by Natalie, and will be given to this brave little boy.

Another was a tablerunner and coasters I made for my Aunt-In-Law.

She's the kind of lady that never forgets a birthday or celebration.  She's even early most of the time...I've really got to learn that habit of sending out a card or present a week before the day.  I'm always late.

Ahem, except for this year, I think.   I may actually be on time.

I originally made these blocks as part of a larger pattern for a wallhanging for my kitchen over a year ago.  I then put it all away because I just wasn't feeling it.  I looked at it over the months and just did not find the motivation, the love, to do it.  Until I figured out that this quilt wasn't meant for us.

When I realized that these blocks were perfect for Aunt M, it came together quickly.  Funny how that happens.

I'm thrilled, because I know it's going to a good home.  It's a crafter's dream to know that what they have made will not go into the limbo space of gifts not really appreciated.  And that makes it even better than having it hang on my own wall.

I was in and out of the post office in less than 30 minutes, and not one bit of impatience from anyone was felt.  And thanks to the very sweet grandfather who cajoled Baby J for all of those minutes, I left unscathed, and pounds lighter.   

I hope that you all are marking your Holidays with cheer and peace.  That with all of the hoopla and last minute preparations, that you take care of yourselves too!  

Good luck out there!   

Easy does it

I looked through my knitting archives here on my blog, and my jaw almost hit the floor: My last FO (finished object) was back in March! 

Bad, bad knitter!  

Well,  it's time to break that desolate-and-shameful-knitting-hiatus.

Pattern: Easy Fingerless Mitts

Needles/Yarn: Sz 7 doublepointed,  Cascade Lana D'Oro

These mitts are for C for Christmas.  He currently loves his pair of super tiny fingerless fleece mitts that his grandma gave to him a couple of years ago.  Can you imagine a 9 year old trying to shove his fingers through gloves made for a 5-6 year old?  It's hard being a witness to it, I promise you.  But, without fail, every morning he tries to fit his fingers through, only for me to tell him that he.just.can't.  

But he loves having his fingers free...just as I do...I wear the mitts I made for me all the time.  A lightbulb went off in my head: "Why not make him a pair!"  I felt like a genius!  Now, having finished, I feel like a fool - why did I wait so long?

(that last link takes you to an older blog by-the-way. Goodness, I have been writing for a while, haven't I?)

Anyway, this took me a very short time to make, probably 2 1/2 hours total.  What a satisfying knit!  Just enough to get my juices flowing, that I headed over to Ravelry and started to browse at the beautiful new patterns out.   

I can't wait to see C's face when sees what I've made for him.  I think it's a homerun :)

I hope that your holiday shopping and prep has been going well! My advent calendar is telling me that time is moving MUCH faster than I think it does!

The Principle of Patience

This last week has been a doozy.  Never mind that I had a husband out of town and the single momming went into over time.  Or that I was trying to get Christmas gifts lined up (I'm still knitting!) to be sent this week.  Nor will I mention the mounds of paper I was trying to read, of which at some point into last week I gave up on.  

The thing that had me toe the line next to madness; that which brought me into the realms of a helicopter parenting nightmare:

C's (my 9 year old) science project and presentation.  Of which I wasn't allowed to help him with.

It was almost the death of me.  

I'm *so* not even kidding.

Sure, it was just an experiment about creating layers, to present The Principle of Density.  Yeah, he's only in the third grade; it's not his SATs, or his graduate thesis.  I can talk logically about it until I am aqua in the face, but it doesn't take away the fact that I had a couple of internal meltdowns.

I had to walk away while he managed his own materials.  I had to bite my lip as he did the experiment.  I had to slap my own hand away as I watched him do his presentation board.

And you won't believe it...I didn't even say a word as he practiced his presentation.

This morning, he schlepped his presentation board and a cooler full of materials to present it to his class.  I cried when he walked away from the van, his brother helping him with all of his stuff.  Not just because he is really growing up into his own personality, even taking me on this last week and all of my hovering.  

But that, hey, I'm growing up with them too, and I'm sortof learning to let go.  Not that I'm ready for them to drive or anything- hell, I'm still paranoid that they aren't in their 5-point restraint carseats.  I'm just sayin', I didn't do so bad.

And I'll be on pins and needles until he gets home.  

Have a great day everyone!

 

 

If I can do NaNoWriMo...

Surely I can get Christmas gifts together in time?  Right? 

(nod with me, please)

I just wound up a couple of skeins for two small knits I'm making for my boys.  I plan to knit them sometime in between quilting, writing, and just plain ol' mommying.  

I've got 22 days.  

What was I thinking starting this late?

Ah, that's right!  NaNoWriMo!  November was completely shot in terms of crafting, and although I have a substantial stack of papers in my posession, Christmas still has to happen, and gifts still need to go out.  And oh, it's also because I have this neverending notion that I have more hours and hands than everyone else in the world.  That the dailies will happen on their own somehow while I try to check things off my gift to-do list.  Either way, I'm delusional, but I'm going to try anyway.

I admit, I can't say no.  To my kiddos, or to myself, because I do love this stuff.  I love making stuff.  I love seeing other people use my stuff.  Maybe THAT should be my mantra, because every almost impossible mission should have a mantra.

And some backup!  For me, it's called Etsy!   And have you seen these talented folks: Kim,  Julia, and Tia? I'm proud to say that they are my friends, and when I'm freaking a week from now, guess who I'll be going to.  Yep...thank goodness for extremely awesome girlfriends.

So, let's cheer shall we?  Gooo Handmade Holidays!  Or patronize handmade, local, and mom n pop!  I know it is not always possible, but if you can gift one thing handmade this season (either bought or made), you would have been able to pass on a lot of love, and maybe in the process remind folks what this season is all about:  

The caring for others through the sharing of oneself. 

Have a great weekend!

I am a winner

It took a bit of outlining, imagining, and a whole lot of ignoring of  other things to do this last month, but I did it.  I'm no longer a NaNoWriMo virgin.  I am a winner!

After I finished up the last of the words for today  (because the draft of this 2nd manuscript is not done; I have probably another two or three chapters to really slap a THE END to it), I rewarded myself with a pat on the back, (my version of) a short but fast run, and a chocolate bar.

And that Snickers bar was gosh darn good.  Better than good, actually - it was phenomenal.

That Snickers bar also gave me a little more energy to start re-reading my newly-printed-of my just-edited 1st manuscript.

I know there is a lot more to do, and even more for me to learn.  But as I held that fat stack of papers in my hands, gosh darn it, I felt stronger than ever.  My eldest three children ooo'd and aaa'd and they asked to read it.  They jumped around and thumbed through its pages.  I had a novel in my hands!  I realized that no matter how many rejection letters are fated to come before me,  I still have something for my children to read.  I will have at least 4 fans in my life.

That's not to say I won't be working hard to get published, because I will!  I'm just saying, I'm already feeling like a superstar in my kids' eyes.  And right now, that's really good enough for me. 

I am a winner!