Halu-Halo

The B word

Sweet R, my almost 7-year-old, said the B word the other day.  Yep.

You should have seen how fast the room cleared of children, my older two boys whispering that "ooo, she's in trouble now..." as they ran up to their room.  They knew what was coming.

"What did you say?" I called from the kitchen.  

I waited for her response, to recant what she knew I knew she said.  

"I'm so bored!" She yelled back.(it really sounded more like "bo-hoar-edddd.") Sweet R was on her back, her arms outstretched, and was pushing herself across the floor using her feet.

Oh, dear internets, I almost came out of my skin. I bit my tongue, and even covered my mouth with my hand. My inner tiger mom wanted out.  I wanted to tell her about the struggles of immigrants and how the B word was not part their everyday life. I wanted to explain the meaning of Hustle, and how she was born of two people married to the concept. I wanted to pull up university college websites to show her that she has to conquer boredom to get there. Did she really want to be a clothing designer mogul? Then she couldn't be bored; in fact, she should be sketching and thinking of marketing strategies for the new generation of fashionistas.

And that wasn't all! 

But I kept it all inside of me. I let it all play in my head as she continued to push herself around in the kitchen, still on her back. I ate a couple of Hershey's kisses, and decided on a strategy.

I brought her to the table, and had her peel the paper off of old crayons.

And I started her official lesson regarding the word Boredom.

I told her that I didn't want to hear the B word in our house. In my opinion, there's no such thing as being bored, just the lack of imagination.

I told her that there is always something to make, to fix, and to dream about. So much that there is just enough room to rest in a day's 24 hours. 

I talked to her about the difference between rest/relaxation and being idle. 

And now that she is older, her awake hours shouldn't just be for fun, or just for her. She needed to help those around her. Like keeping her area clean, helping Mom with household chores, and playing with her little sister. Did she want to help other people outside of her family? (she nodded) I told her to make a plan for it.

 

I told her I would help her find things to do, if she was really stumped. But I wanted for her to come up with most of these ideas on her own. 

I said that if she felt like she needed ideas from me, she should say:

"Can you help me please?" or "What can I do next?"

not "Aaaa, I'm so bored," with an apathetic look on her face.

I told her to wipe that word out of her vocabulary.

What I didn't tell her was that, for me, Bored ranks in with others such as Stupid and Dumb, and the magic phrase of I Can't Do It.  These words, if said too often, becomes a state of mind. It won't happen under my roof, I tell you, as much as I can help it. 

My answers to those words are OF COURSE YOU CAN

                                                            GO FOR IT

                                                            TRY ANYWAY

(I say these words to myself everyday in front of my mirror, by the way. It starts from within.)

After an hour, and a bunch of homemade crayons later, I think she understood where I was coming from. 

My boys thought she got off pretty easy. Apparently their experience was a little more intense. :) But I'm hoping it worked nonetheless.

I hope you all have a great day!

Party On.

I like holidays. Whether they are real or made up, religious or otherwise.

Bring it, let's party.

And why not? There are many not so good things going on in the world. I don't waste my breath going against something that promotes good will among people. I don't even think twice.

Let's break out the chocolate and share it. Cut out an extra heart to give to a friend. Plan a phone call to someone I haven't spoken to in a while. 

These dates on the calender - they're just reminders. We all know that, right? Christmas, New Years, Birthdays, Thanksgiving, Halloween - each carries its own traditions that you could do at any time during the year, but we try to celebrate them on the day that at one time a group of people had agreed upon.  Each of these celebrations are highly commercialized, don't even get me started on the fiasco called Black Friday after the gratitude of Thanksgiving!

But poor Valentine's Day, the black sheep of all holidays, gets such a bad rap.  Why is that? 

Here's what I'm teaching my kids: We're celebrating it all. We should celebrate it all, because it's all good. I'm going to try to show them that it's all about how you celebrate it. Anyone can go overboard, and we are all guilty of being materialistic on certain holidays.  Heck, I bet some of us can even attest of being materialistic on a normal day. *ducks and cover*

Why blame the holiday? 

My family had its financial struggles growing up in this country when we emigrated in the 80's. Somehow, we still managed to party. Every Valentine's Day, my mother had a big red heart cut out from construction paper on our place setting for breakfast. On it, she wrote, "I love you. Happy Valentine's Day." 

She could have done it any day of the year. But it was Valentine's Day, and in her mind, there was nothing wrong with adding a little extra sugar to an already sweet day. All for a price of a piece of paper.

My lesson from that, which I hope I can pass on to my kids is this: Save your battles for the stuff that really makes the world a bad place to live in. Otherwise, party on. 

Today, I received my flowers from Hubby with great gratitude, and I cherished the handmade cards my kids gave me. In return, I promised to give them as many enormous and humble celebrations in life that I can.

Have a lovely night everyone!

 

 

 

To everything - turn, turn, turn

I do believe that I gravitate towards projects I really need.  That of all the Works In Progress I have sitting in my craft space, or laid out in front of me on my computer, I choose what I think is most therapeutic.

These last two weeks, it's been this:

Infinitude 

I used size 8 needles instead of the 9 it called, but it was the only long circ I had on hand that was large enough.  Yarn is Cestera, with the colorway Erica, dyed by KimberlyR. 

The picture above is at its full length...it actually reaches below my waist.

This is Infinitude doubled:

There is a season - turn, turn, turn

And above: tripled

This was a wonderful pattern.  Just enough texture to give the cowl interest, but not too complicated that I couldn't get lost in the stitches.  

It brought me just enough zen so I could enjoy my family circling around me, enough challenge so I could have a conversation with my husband, and just enough silence so that I could hear myself think.

I modified the pattern a bit to I took out some of the repeats in the end.  I only had one skein of Erica, and I was intent on using as much of the 220 yards the skein promised.

I'm proud to say that I only left two yards unused.  

Life is so much about knits and purls, and the dips and bumps they create.  Patterns call for purposeful eyelets and cables, and yet sometimes there are those unmistakable holes and missed stitches.  But so long as we recover from these - increasing a stitch here and there, K2Tog, or even just grabbing our darning needle and sewing the hole closed - the garment will still come to be, as imperfect as it should be.   And that modifications in the prescribed pattern is completely allowed, but getting the most out of your pattern, and the yarn that you have is what counts.

I wear it in comfort.  

And a time for every purpose, under heaven

 

p.s...for those in your wonderful 40's...do your yearly mammograms! It will save your life!

p.p.s...please keep my friend in mind.  She lost her two nephews yesterday. 

What a 22-month-old will teach you

It's taking Baby J a little while to get to bed tonight.  No, it's so far not anything like the all-nighter she pulled when she was a baby, thank goodness, but still, a couple of hours have passed and I'm still waiting for her to hit REM.  I've read her usual stories, tried to cajole her into bed by actually getting into the crib with her, and even commanded her with my Mom-voice to "get thee to bed," but she just isn't ready.

When I finally left her room after a half hour of useless begging,  she launched into a sing-song monologue of baby words and giggles.  I can only imagine that she was talking to her Guardian Angel, or maybe to one of her Great-Grandmothers, and she probably told them all about how she stole a piece of chocolate from the pantry and ate it right through the wrapper.  "Mama didn't find out until I finished the whole thing!" she bragged.  "I had it all over my shirt, my face, and my hair."

I didn't want to intervene,  but I had to sneak in to get a couple of shots.  I low-crawled into her room, and reached my camera around the corner of her closet and snapped away.

As the minutes passed she grew quieter, and she's now starting to inch towards her mattress.  I'm betting that it will be only another 10 minutes before her heavy breathing commences.

The lessons from this last week, now inspired to be written (thank you, Baby J).

There are some things just out of your control.

Within challenges, there is light and song.

Rest and relief come, have faith that it will.

Until then, you must do what you can to capture the moment.

 

 

Indoors

As much as I love the sun, and being outdoors, I am equally a recluse.  I don't mind wearing my yoga pants all day, my torso bundled up in a sweater.  I find comfort in the confines of my home, even under my favorite blanket. And I love having the predictability of what's to happen next, the control of what task needs to be completed.

When the weather is warm, the pressure is greater  to be productive outside of the home.  I usually never mind rising to it, the sun is pure temptation, and my energy easily flows outwards.  But because of this, I am antsy inside my home, especially when the kids are over-loud, when its walls cannot keep me from my stretch.    

I find that when I am outside these walls, I miss a few things.  I pass on some of the small mundanes, like rearranging our pantry or deleting the spam emails I receive.  I write a little less, I don't craft as much, and I butterfly my way through the day.  It is all great fun, but admittedly, tiring.

So, on days like this, when it is cold and icy, I receive it with open arms.

On days like this, I can allow myself to look inwardly, without the outside to distract me.  The ice is a reason to halt the normal, and encourage creativity from more limited resources. On days like this, it is alright to move slowly, to be careful.

It is even easier to to be caring, in my opinion, to take stock of everything one has ignored on those sunny days.  Like dusting the tops of doorways and rearranging the papers on my desk.  Or folding fabric.  

 And somewhere in between baking and finding a chore or craft for the children to do, the creative mojo finds its way to surface.  

On days like this, I can hear myself.

Have a safe and wonderful weekend everyone.

 

 

 

I love having creative friends...

And I love it even better when they live nearby..

I had breakfast with KimberlyR this morning.  We snacked, had hot beverages, gossiped and laughed and talked business.  I took a lot of silly pictures, and she didn't mind, because she knew me well enough to know that by entering into my home,she inherently agreed that she would be a part of a future blog post or a tagged Facebook picture. (*)  

Sorry, Kim :)

But seriously folks, she came bearing yarn...how could I not talk about it.  In fact, I think I even squealed when she handed it to me.  Such is my love for hand-dyed yarn - I freak out even in small quantities.

I was giddy for hours after our morning together, as if a part of me was topped off and fulfilled.  I usually feel the same way after coming from a Quilt Guild meeting, or after checking into a craft blog or forum.  It's as if the sharp parts of my environment smudge just a tad, making *all of this* - the constant and busy of now - seem that much prettier.

With Creative Friends, most everything is possible.  They dream for it to come true.  Their imagination translates into something tangible, substantial and present.  And their encouragement - it's undending, no matter how small the project is, or whether it's been completed.  After all, it's as much about process and progress as it is about product.

With Creative Friends, I feel completely inspired!  I remember the projects I would like to do, I rifle through the patterns I hope to start, and I revel knowing that these things really, really make me happy, in what could be considered as rudimentary or domestic.  These organized set of stitches, these combinations of fabrics, they are all little outbursts of excitement onto fabric.  

These days, I don't accomplish nearly as much as I want to, but my Creative Friends help me remember through their own projects that life goes on, one stitch at a time.  That the fabric that is our environment is stitched together by people from all walks of life.  And that, really, nothing is wasted from whatever we do, as little or as much as we finally get to show.

I bet that Kim didn't think that her visit would do me that much good, but it did.  And if you're not a crafter, I bet you didn't think that all that could be felt doing a little bitty quilt or knitting a hat, but trust me, it can.  

Have a good night everyone!

 

(*) Note that I respect all friends wishes. If they are photo or blog shy, I promise that I don't expose them to my tomfoolery.   

Radical in 2012

Hi Friends,

I wasn't sure how I was going to begin this post...it's been churning in my head for days.  I think I'm the last blogger to wish the world a Happy 2012, but the pressure of the first post weighed on my shoulders.  Would I give a recap of my year, the projects I was able to accomplish, the works in progress yet to be completed?  Or would I list my resolutions for the year, with a heartfelt hope that I would be sucessful?  Or maybe post a series of pictures of the highlights of 2011?  

It all didn't seem right for me, for this post to look back.  Well before the year ended, I actually felt that I was coming over a crest, feeling the freedom of seeing what's on the other side.  It was like what I rememebered about running up Stanyan - it was almost better just to keep going until I reached the plateau of an intersection, rather than stop in the middle of the climb to see how far I had gone.

You're probably wondering what in the heck I have accomplished in the last year, with all of this talk about running up an insanely steep hill in San Francisco. Alas, my resume won't show much more than it did from January of last year, except for an extra few miles I logged in, and a few more words I was finally able to get on paper.  But my insides, the real stuff that makes "me", has come through what I call the Fog of 2011.

It has much to do with getting adjusted and readjusted.  The rearranging of the physical priorities within what the family needs, the tweaking of personal priorities in the categories of 'dream' and 'reality', and finally finding that there is a bridge that connects these two things.  It was toting the line in between expectation and radical and then deciding to throw that one foot on the other side and opening my eyes and saying, Wow, why didn't I do that earlier?  

I know!  There she goes with her mumbo jumbo again.  This is why I held back a couple of days to post.  The words are all here, on the tips of my fingers, I am typing as fast as I can so that I don't filter so much of what I mean.

What is all this about?

It's about everything.  Perspective. Baby steps leading to gazelle-like movements. Process. Faith. Rolled up in one and then twisted and turned.  It's knowing myself.  And it's being more brave.  Not just chug-a-chuging up that hill, but really using those legs and my (well-fed) ass to haul myself over, knowing I will be fully out of breath up there.  

No, you won't be seeing me running 8 minute miles, I'm perfectly happy at my 11:30's.  I won't be knocking out a quilt a month, though I'll still be making some very loved items.  And I guarantee that the crazy moments will come, and sometimes I will cry and complain, this is life after all.   This is not about stats, or counting those notches above my bed (which I don't have, lest you think...).  

It's about finding my groove, and 2012 is going to witness it.

I hope the first 4 days of your year has been eventful in some way, even in your quietest moments.  Celebrate it with me.  

 

Peeking out from behind this computer screen

My habit is to hide out a bit right after Christmas: To rest my body, to reflect on the past year, and to recapture what brings me joy.  I revisit my 3 R's before the New Year so that when the clock strikes 00:00:01, I am ready for it. For despite the fact that our lives can change at any second, 1 January brings about so much potential, doesn't it?  So why not take it and go with the momentum?

I have to admit though, that of the 3 R's, I'm still working on the first.  This Christmas was both our quietest and busiest.  We purposely kept it intimate and just us for the entire weekend, but it still was as messy and as loud and as chaotic as it would have been had we done our usual hosting.  I still cooked heaping amounts of food, our dishwasher still ran at least twice a day, and Hubby and I still went to bed those nights happy but undeniably exhausted.  

We both keep learning that our Big family is self-sustaining, and that there will never be a lack of company.  And while we laughed at how our days were filled without, really, much planned, we both grew that much more appreciative of the enormity of the space these children filled.  It's astounding, and humbling, really, how they are in all parts of this home.  And how, despite all of our antics and quirks as parents, they still come to us, in their happiness, frustration and sadness.  

And so, I am still tired, still barely getting out of house clothes, not flat-ironing my hair, but spending these quiet hours with each of my four.  All without thinking of when the next extra-curric activity will be, or when the next project is due.  The pace - it's good right now; my body needed it, my mind sought it, and thank goodness the kids are going with it.

I hope that you had a wonderful holiday, and that somehow in your plans you are recovering in your own way.  After all, the New Year is around the corner, and it will be time to party when it comes around to it!

Have a great night!

This elf has been busy

(and I'm not talking about the one on the shelf - I'm talking about the bonafide creator of the Christmas spirit here in our house - ahem...)

There are only 3 days till Christmas, after all.  In three days, my Bigs and Littles will be up at 5 in the morning, tearing open whatever Hubby and I had haphazardly lovingly wrapped the night before, and we get to celebrate another year of blessings.

I This elf has been good this year.  If you remember, I sent out my last 2010 Christmas gift *in* February of 2011. The year before, even much later, in March.  This year, I'm proud to report that the last package will be mailed in the next few days - a record.

(See me bow)

Yes, commence the applause.  Enjoy the  moment.  It may not happen again.  

I would like to thank the Academy, and Groupon and Living Social for providing great gift-giving options this year.  

Also, the last of the handmade has been completed today.  Impressed?

 (I'll imagine you squealing in delight.)  

Pattern: Shilling, knit on sz 4 16-inch circs, sz 7 16-inch circs and dpns

Yarn: Cascade 220

It was so much a perfect fit for me, that I seriously contemplated not wrapping it up, and instead just stashing it in my own dresser drawer.  But I didn't, and it's now hidden with the rest of the kids' gifts; it's going to my Biggest, who lost his knit hat earlier this year.  

G used his sweet beanie, which I knit for him when he was 5 (the blue and brown), every winter for almost 5 years.  While I'm grateful that he was able to hang on to it for so long, I finally had to accept that it had disappeared, and decided he needed another one, a completely different one.

Shilling is a very handsome pattern! It's hard to see the texture and cables in my pictures, but it's definitely fitting for an older boy.  I think he's going to love it.  

And the final handmade completed is for my sweet R, for her special American Girl Doll, whom she lovingly named Claire...

A ticker tape quilt!

I decided to do larger scraps, even on this tiny quilt.  R is quite my helper and right hand woman when I sew, and I knew she loved these fabrics.  In fact, she had separated many of these scraps as her favorites.

I did a second round of quilting, adding flowers to it.  I can't tell you how excited I am to give this to her.  I am expecting a doll bed in the mail at any moment, and this quilt will be gracing it.  She is going to jump and giggle absolutely.freak.out when she sees the entire ensemble on Christmas morning.  

The back - pieced fabrics shared by Natalie (thanks, woman!) the last time we were at her place for our Nova Modern Quilt Guild meeting.  R tagged along to the last couple of meetings, and on that day, she actually picked these out the stash.  

This elf will now celebrate with a little bit of chocolate, and maybe even a glass of wine.   While she won't be hanging on the chandeliers or  doing such shenanigans (she is 36 after all), tonight, she will be watching this movie and eating kettle corn like it's going out of style.

Have a great night, everyone!

Fear not the post office

By the time I got to the post office this morning, just a few minutes before 9 am, there were 15 people in front of me.  

I almost turned around and got back into my car.  Not only did I have to be somewhere at 9:30, but I also had Baby J with me.  Did I really want to face a potential meltdown that my toddler is so good at these days?  Was I prepared for the her inevitable no-i-will-not-move-unless-you-drag-me-out-kicking-and-screaming shenanigan?  I put my coat back on, and fiddled with my key ring.

And then, I remembered the date, so I stayed.  

I'm glad I did, because I had quite a few packages go out the door.

One was a quilt block for a charity quilt being put together by Natalie as part of our work with the Northern Virginia Modern Quilt Guild.

This block was put together with directions provided by Camille, from her quilt pattern "Swoon".  Thank you Camille, for sharing these directions with us!  Each contributor provided a block, and the combination thereof with be quilted by Natalie, and will be given to this brave little boy.

Another was a tablerunner and coasters I made for my Aunt-In-Law.

She's the kind of lady that never forgets a birthday or celebration.  She's even early most of the time...I've really got to learn that habit of sending out a card or present a week before the day.  I'm always late.

Ahem, except for this year, I think.   I may actually be on time.

I originally made these blocks as part of a larger pattern for a wallhanging for my kitchen over a year ago.  I then put it all away because I just wasn't feeling it.  I looked at it over the months and just did not find the motivation, the love, to do it.  Until I figured out that this quilt wasn't meant for us.

When I realized that these blocks were perfect for Aunt M, it came together quickly.  Funny how that happens.

I'm thrilled, because I know it's going to a good home.  It's a crafter's dream to know that what they have made will not go into the limbo space of gifts not really appreciated.  And that makes it even better than having it hang on my own wall.

I was in and out of the post office in less than 30 minutes, and not one bit of impatience from anyone was felt.  And thanks to the very sweet grandfather who cajoled Baby J for all of those minutes, I left unscathed, and pounds lighter.   

I hope that you all are marking your Holidays with cheer and peace.  That with all of the hoopla and last minute preparations, that you take care of yourselves too!  

Good luck out there!