Halu-Halo

My Baby Brother...who's 30.

I think I am as much a helicopter sister as I am a helicopter mom. My 30-year-old baby brother is here to visit, and I've had to remind myself more than once that I am no longer his babysitting big sister, and that I should treat him like the grown man that he is (and a military non-commissioned officer, at that). 

But I can't help it. He's still 8 years old to me.

Here are some things I've had to ALLOW for him to do on his own (and completely go against my natural instincts).

1. Cross the street without grabbing for his hand. Admittedly, I reached for it, but he was already across the HELLA BUSY parking lot.  My heart dropped for a split-second, like I'd lost him or something.  

2. Order at the local Korean dive. I did, however, try to steer him to order certain items. To make sure he had a well-rounded lunch, you know? 

3. Drive the shopping cart at the crazy-crowded Asian market. I had to trust, people. I even let him go down a few rows so we could attack the grocery list together. I found him every time, of course. (whew)

4. Pay for his own check. Although, we did have a little verbal scuffle in front of the cashier. I didn't believe that being in the Air Force for 13 years earned him enough money to buy. C'mon, he's only 8! I mean...

5. Work my stove and take over my kitchen. He even sharpened one of my knives. I had to look away; I imagined myself summoning all of my RN skills to stitch him up with my sewing needle and Guterman thread. 

(He made a kick-butt Filipino dish)

6. Teach me how to cook the aformentioned kick-butt Filipino dish. I can't tell you how that totally blew my mind. Like, my little brother knows more than me? How is that even possible? Is that even allowed? 

I can't even talk about it.

7. Make me a drink. An alcoholic one.  I mean, I knew he was a part-time bartender at one point, but in my mind he was playing with kool-aid and plastic cups. Because there is NO WAY he drinks. He's way too young.

8. Teach me how to make the aforementioned alcoholic drink. I HAVE NO WORDS FOR THIS.

 

Tomorrow, I will wake up, and my baby brother will be 8 years old again. That, or I will finally have to face that he has grown up to be such a sensitive, considerate, and good man. 

NoNoNoNoNo...he's eight eight eight.

Bunso - (n) youngest child

And once again, I have a toddler.

Truly, a running, yelping, grabbing, and exploring toddler.  Never a dull moment these days, for you are everywhere at once, forcing my instincts to anticipate your next move.  Up the stairs, under the table, behind the door, and in the dishwasher should I decide to look away more than a couple of seconds.

Because today, sweet Baby J, the Light of our Home, our bunso...you are now one.

And what a presence you are; in your peace and excitement, I can feel you uplift me.  From the moment you were conceived, my very thought of you was the beacon of hope that brought me through a long deployment.  You are a cherished gift after our previous sadness, and in your birth, all of the love tucked even in the secret compartments of my heart came to greet you.  

Up to this day, I held on that time would just stop.  Last night, I lamented to your Father at how heartbroken I was, that our Baby is no longer one, but he reminded me that the best is yet to come.

I know he is right.  But I have these last three hours left to watch you while you sleep as still my baby.

Happy Birthday, my love.

Lola's Lesson: Sending Thank You's

My mother - we call her "Lola", which is Tagalog for grandmother - always hounds me about Thank you's.  Even to this day, she will call me after I have posted pictures on Facebook of one of her apo's (grandchild) birthdays and she will ask me - "Did you send thank you cards?".  Of which I always roll my eyes and say one of two things:

1. "Ugh, yes mom, I did!" or

2. "Ugh, I'm almost done with them!"

It's a lost art though, isn't it, to write an honest to goodness thank you card.  It's so much easier to call, text or email a Thank You.  I, personally, love to send and receive all versions of Thanks, but I do have a stack of blank cards here at home at the ready.  Because while most folks have a Devil and an Angel on their shoulders, I also have a Lola right on my head.

The virtual Lola has actually been jumping on my cranium for a while now, because I hadn't sent a proper, handwritten, thank you to a couple of friends who have done such thoughtful things for me these last couple of months.

Thoughtful doesn't really cover it, because these two ladies gave up some loved items of theirs to share with me, so I thought a little made item for each of them would give my thank you card a little bit more of an oomph.

...a thong for one...

...a bracelet for the other...

I also wanted me to make sure I tell you all Thank You for being such great readers, some for a few years.  Although I haven't celebrated a Blogversary, it's been more than 5 years that I have took to writing on the internet!  Thank you for supporting me every step of the way.

Much love, Tif

I'm going to be a "Tita" (n) - Aunt

I grew up with an abundance of Titas, some who were blood related, and others who were my mom's most favorite girlfriends.  My mom and my Titas would gather around together and chat and gossip and cackle at family parties.  They talked about everything under the sun, all the while with food and drink in front of them. Mostly drink.

Fast forward two decades and now, I am one.  Of those women that is = chatting and gossiping and cackling with the best of 'em.  I love my girlfriends, I hold them close to my heart, as close as family.  And their children have become part of me too.

And I love being a Tita.  Witnessing these babies grow.  I hope I get them to smile, or teach them something new.  Maybe they'll get to know me as that crazy crafting Tita Tif.  The one that talks too much. She's the one that sends us all of those kitschy presents.  Ah, would I be proud!

Currently, I have nominated myself a Tita to quite a few children to include one beautiful niece.  I wish she lived closer to us, to play and grow up with her cousins, she can even join my children in eating all of my food experiments.

Well, this year, I will be a Tita again.  My brother and his wife are expecting their first babe, and friends, am I excited.

Before I sent my bro and sis-in-law their Handmade Holiday presents, I wanted to include a little something for their little peanut.  They aren't finding out the baby's gender, so I had to hold back my excitement at diving into the colorful yarn I have here.  I opted to knit up an off white yarn I had handy.

Pattern: Gooseberry Hat, knit on sz 3 needles.  It called for sz 4, but I was going for a smaller cap.

Yarn: Millamia Sport : color: Fawn.  Lovely yarn! super soft merino

 

It's so little! I couldn't find a bowl to fit under it, so I stuffed it with fabric in order to take pictures!  It's such a cute hat, and the i-cord on top of it is, literally, the icing on the cake for me.  

It's times like these when living away from family is the toughest!  To be able to see my sis-in-law's belly grow, to watch my bro become a dad, and to feel the family grow by another two feet...it is and will continue to be surreal from across the country.  

I want my future niece or nephew to always know that Tita Tif will always be there for him/her.  So I'm warning you now, J & C, you'll be getting even more handmade stuff from me. :)  

Happy Friday everyone!  I hope you had a productive week!

"We must use time creatively" - MLK Jr.

I finished Odessa today, a quick but satisfying knit for a good friend of mine.  She remarked once that she liked one of the ribbed beanies I made, and I thought this made for a more feminine look that I knew seemed more like her.

Odessa's original pattern called for beads to be knitted with the yarn, but I opted not to include the beads, since she has a little tot at home and I didn't want to send over a choking hazard!  I do think however, that when I knit this hat again, I will definitely include it!  The pattern itself is not that difficult.

Peek-a-boo!  I see you!

It's a slouchy version of Odessa.  I knit the body using size 7 needles and knit it a little deeper before decreasing at the top of the hat.  I used Knit Picks Cotton Linen, which I think will be more appropriate for her part of the country.  It will be a great spring hat!  

I spent a great deal of this weekend and today knitting this hat, reading this book, and reflecting on the privilege of when I was born and my life in this country.  That my life would have been so different had I been born even 25 years before or if my family had emigrated elsewhere when I was a child.  My Filipino-Chinese-Scotch-Irish-butulimatelyAmerican children are constant reminders of the successes of social changes, changes led by fine Americans, such as Martin Luther King Jr.

Social changes, of which, I am so eternally grateful for.

"We may have all come on different ships, but we're in the same boat now" - MLK Jr.

I hope you all had a great weekend!

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice

Before I take a forced crafting-for-others hiatus, so I can plan and enjoy Christmas, I had to knock out a few things for some of my own favorite little girls.  I think that even if I wouldn't have had my own daughters, I would have not missed out making little things in Pink, Purple and Green, since I have a God-daughter, a Niece, and other pseudo-nieces.  

What is life without being able to make such wondrous things like ruffles?  I, myself, can't stop marveling over how pretty they are.

 

But seriously, if I didn't have any little girls to make things for, Hubby would have to deal with me running around the house in my own Dancerella legwarmers, in addition to the countless ponchos and hats I have knitted.  

Thank goodness for this recipient, who I hope will enjoy this while she skates.  As soon as I saw it, I knew it was going to be for her.  

(Pattern note: I used sz 7 needles and casted on 44 stitches.  And I mistakingly did the twisted rib throughout the first leg, and decided not to frog and just did the same on the second.  I like how it looks!  And it will grow with her.  This is currently being modeled by my 5 year old.  Recipient is 7/8) 

And Bow Holders.  What a great invention.  Instead of bumbling with piles of bows in a basket as I have been doing, I can organize them by color or style, all clipped on the tails below.

I've seen it in other little girls' rooms and decided it was high time that I should make a couple for two little girls who are like family to me, because their Mommies and I go way back...  

...As far back as seeing one another do silly things in college.  Though such stories shouldn't be written in case my now computer savvy son should click here via my bookmarks.  No, Son...Mama was an angel! The epitome of responsibility as a young woman!

They are off in the mail soon!  Slightly late when they arrive, but finished before Christmas.  This counts as "on time" in my book!

I hope that you all have a great few days!  I hope to touch base on Christmas Eve, to share with you our Noche Buena tradition.

Maliit - adj. small, little, tiny, bitty

You will never catch me trying to wake our littlest babe.  I take what I can get, even the smallest of moments so I can do a couple of chores around the house.

...like put up our 4th tree.  That's right! We have four.  I am allergic? (get bad headaches) to real Christmas trees, so I have compensated and put four trees in the house.  But isn't she the cutest! She is tiny, but she counts just as much as the largest.  At some point I would like to craft some minature ornaments for this.  

As if I have time, but a girl can dream.

But I did finish this!

Pattern: Little Kina, sz 6 needles on worsted yarn

Pattern Notes: I will definitely do this pattern again! Very quick knit, took me less than a day, and about 150 yds.  I could have knit the sweater a little longer, and I may do that next time.

 

What's that I hear?  Is than a gasp from the Internet? Yes! Another present done.  This time, a bitty sweater for a little girl's American Girl doll.  Purple is her (the recipient's, not the doll's) favorite color right now.  I'm contemplating doing a little doll quilt to go with it.   

I hope your moments have been productive!

Yes, I am still under apples.

But, of all things to be overwhelmed with, it's not so bad.  It could be worse.  I could be under ampalaya, which is a Filipino bittermelon, for example.  Now, that's a veggie I haven't gotten used to. That whole theory of introducing a child to a food 20-sumthin' times before they accept it?  It didn't work when it came to ampalaya.  

The sides of my jaw tingles just thinking about it... ::shiver::

I've been undertaking a few new recipes using my apple-treasures, but there are some recipes that are such an easy go-to.  I don't even think about it until I have it already served.  

Fried apples.  Comfort food extraordinaire.  See it here with BBQ chicken and rice.  Because nothing says Filipino and American more than BBQ, steamed rice, and fried apples.  We are proud like that.

Here's my recipe:

Fried Apples:

1/4 cup butter - Melt it over medium heat.

5 Granny Smith apples, peeled and sliced - Add to the pan & butter

Stir sweetly (vs. rough and meanly) and cover for a couple of minutes

1/2 cup sugar - Sprinkle over the apples.  Try to look away while doing so...out of sight, out of mind.

2 tbs cinnamon - The more the merrier

1 tsp nutmeg - It is the icing on the cake.

Cover, stir sweetly every so often, until the apples are tender.

 

Enjoy!  I am supposed to run a 5K at the end of the month, so I tempered my fried apple consumption.  It also helped that the rest of the family devoured it and didn't leave me much of a choice, otherwise I would have been reveling in a fried apple coma.

I hope you all had a great week!  TGIF!!

Seeing the forest for the trees

I consider September to be a "milestone month".  It signals the end of the lazy days of summer; it brings about the start of a new school year.  September reminds me to begin fall cleaning, to go through our closets and take stock of our winter clothing.  It is also my birthday month, and therefore the month-in-which-i-evaluate-my-life.  Who needs a mid life evaluation/crisis?  I do this yearly.

And I will admit that it's not an easy life to deconstruct (who's life is?).  Filipina-American, California raised Catholic, Army soldier turned nomadic spouse, ambitious nurse but even more passionate mom, Writer/Crafter...where and when does it all fit?   

Sometimes I feel like a child myself, still navigating through life with my children.  I have dreams that take me off my feet; my common sense guides my better judgement.

And then, God reminds me to see the forest for the trees.

 

I made this for a Sewing Mamas quilt swap.  R wanted a quilt that represented her and her boys, and I wanted to give her my wish of both dreams and stability.  I wanted to create a forest with 3 trees similar to one another.  I challenged myself and decided not to use rulers or my rotary cutter.  

I fussy cut all of the pieces, using only scraps and remnants, to include the binding.  I eyeballed the overall size of the quilt and was pleased that the sides were straight before I bound it.  (it is appx 16x20)

In my hopes to give R am improvisational quilt, I found a great deal of comfort in not knowing my next step.  I would start to make the blocks and put them aside and added to each daily, and I was amazed in how much I appreciated each strip of imperfect, unmatched or crumpled piece of fabric.  

Once the quilt top was done, I was amazed at how perfect it was.  How it looked exactly how I wanted it to be; it exuded my best wishes.

And as I was packing this sweet quilt up, I realized.  Reaching pinnacle is farce, and being a Master is overrated.  

However, tangibly, there is perseverance, fortitude, flexibility and resilience.  

Take that, 35 years.  

Delirious now...

 1.  Deliriously frustrated -  The cabinets are finally up...finally. (They are beautiful!)  There was a plumbing issue.  (Isn't there always one?)  Surely this is another HGTV lesson I neglected to understand, that inevitably other issues pop up that bring you both beyond the timeline and budget.   

 

 2.  Deliriously excited - Countertops are coming on Friday and I get to pick wall colors.  I can't contain myself.  It is really getting here, the end of the road of this major renovation!  I am proud of myself that even in the midst of babymoon I haven't had an emotional breakdown thrown a serious tantrum.

3.  Deliriously confused - Baby J has gone from the two time a night nurser to an all night sleeper, which invariably had converted her to an all day nurser.  I am not sure what I like better.  I realize that I value my time to do the dishes (see #1) as much as I do sleep.  Did I just write that?  (shhhhh).  I am living in perpetual jet lag.

4.  Deliriously confusing to other people - My favorite statement lately is "you know what I mean," and I rely on Hubby to read my mind.  Thank goodness that for the most part, he does.  But I feel sorry for anyone that have had to hold a conversation with me.  I can only imagine the little doses of Filipinoisms that I've thrown out there.  If you were subjected to that lately, don't tell me about it, promise?  

5.  Deliriously amazed - Sometimes I am overwhelmed with those Hallmark-commercial-type crying sessions.  I've got 4 wonderful children!  An awesome husband!  Shelter, food, fabric, yarn, clutter, and boxes to unpack...a reliable job!  We get to see the world and I get to stay home with my babies.  I am a blessed woman.  

Hopefully, sometime after the countertops are installed (and I have a sink) but before Baby J decides to wean, I will be a little more coherent.  :)